The Princess Diaries (Why did I watch this?)
Starring Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews.
Okay so here's the story: fifteen, year-old Social Outcast is an invisible sophomore, with really psycho hair, until her grandmother comes to town and informs her that she’s the crown princess of some imaginary land. Princess classes ensue, with a music sequence where she’s made pretty. But oh no, will she be ready in time for the royal ball? And will she choose to accept her role, or abdicate the throne?
All this I predicted within the first five minutes of the movie, and then that’s it in terms of plot development. No mystery, no plot twist, no ticking time bomb (unless you count being pretty in time for the ball), nothing remotely unpredictable happened in this movie.
I suffered through The Princess Diaries. At the point where they plucked her eyebrows and straightened her hair I shouted “They took her soul!” and about ten minutes after that I started yelling “I WANT MY LIFE BACK,” and kept yelling it throughout the rest of the movie. I’m sorry, but hasn’t this storyline been rehashed a thousand times, with only minor tweaking?
The one mildly redeeming part of the movie is that Mia (remember, the social outcast?) makes faces during princess classes, and that she stands up to a bully. Once. Yes, this genre of movie does appeal to some people, but can’t we at least have some level variety between plots?
The Princess Diaries is based on a book which is, from what I understand, pretty much the same story line, but over the course of about six books. There is no way I will ever read any of them unless I’m stranded on a desert island and they’re the only thing that will keep me coherent. And maybe not even then.
Feisty chick-o-meter: 5/10
Age rating: 10+
Rating: 2/10
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