"Fly? Me? Nah."

Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
By James Patterson

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you genetically altered kids with wings, a chase across America and a strong, feisty heroine. What’s not to love?

Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment is the first book in a series of eight. Max is fourteen, and is the leader of her flock, including fourteen year-old Iggy and Fang, eleven year-old Nudge, eight year-old Gazzy, and six year-old Angel. Max and the flock live like any other normal kids – except they have wings. Escaped products of genetic experiments, they now live relatively normally. One day however, Angel is kidnapped by the scientists they escaped from and their half dog-half human “Erasers” and the flock must go on a hunt to bring her back.

Max is a very strong character who fits my criteria for feisty heroines perfectly, and always has a witty comeback handy.

“The next morning-at least, I assumed it was morning, since we were all waking up- I felt like one of those twelve dancing princesses, who danced all night, wore holes in their shoes, and had to sleep it off the next day. Except, oh yeah: a)I'm not a princess; b)sleeping in a subway tunnel and having another brain attack aren't that much like dancing all night; and c) my combat boots were still in good shape. Other than that, it was exactly the same.” 

James Patterson is better known as an author of thriller novels for adults so it’s pretty safe to say that he’s good at cliff-hangers. There were some patches where the writing felt uncomfortable, but overall it was pretty good. The same with the plot; there were some predictable parts, but it moved along at a good pace and had some nice twists.  The writing is very comfortable and incredibly funny.

“Did I want a dog? No. Did I need a dog? Also no. We were six kids running for our lives, not knowing where our next meal was coming from. Could we afford to feed a dog? Wait for it—no.” 

One thing that did annoy me was that all the characters talked older than they were. Now, I’m all for smart characters, but when a six year-old is talking like a 20 year-old, it’s just really weird. I think it would have been easier if everyone had just been a few years older. That also would have made the character development a bit easier to believe. That being said, the books are very good, and very hard to put down.

The ending doesn’t really tie up all the loose ends; however, all the books have been out for a while now and the second book picks up where the first left off. So if you have a free weekend, you can pretty much just plough through the entire series. This book is recommended for any readers who like their heroines on the sarcastic, feisty, take-no-prisoners side.

Feisty Chick-O-Meter: 10/10

Age rating: 13+

Rating: 8/10

Book or audiobook: Book

Stand alone or series: Series

Last word: Max

Length: 464 pages

You knew this was coming, didn’t you?

The Mortal Instruments: The City of Bones.
Starring Lilly Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower and Robert Sheenan

I have decided to become a Book Slapper. What is a Book Slapper you ask? A Book Slapper is someone who is on the set of books being adapted into films. Their job is to hit the director with the book every time they say "But what if we just change this to..." Guess which book I'm kicking off my career with? You guessed it, The Mortal Instruments: The City of Bones.

I think by now it’s pretty obvious that I love Cassandra Clare’s books. If you haven’t gotten that, I suggest you go back and read my other two posts (here and here); I guess you missed the two sets of 10/10s and raving reviews. It’s okay, I’ll wait.

You back? Let’s continue.

I had seen so many good reviews, watched so many promos, and it looked really good. Granted not as good as the books, but movies very rarely live up to the books, no matter how amazing. Safe to say, I was looking forward to seeing it. Oh how misguided I was. The movie is, quite frankly, a slap in the face to the books and all the fans of the series. This isn’t a matter of the characters not looking like I imagined them; the movie is genuinely bad, complete with bad acting, ridiculous music, and ridiculously major deviations from the book.

All my issues with this movie could be compiled into a book of its own, so let me just cover the six main ones.

1. No one can act. No I take that back. There is one good actor in the entire movie: Jamie Campbell Bower. I know, I know, acting is such a trivial matter, silly me, but seriously, every single other actor is on a scale ranging from Iffy to Oh-My-God-Please-Stop-Talking-Now

2. Clary is pathetic. Was it not Cassandra Clare who said in an interview with The Mary Sue that she wanted to write a series with a female epic hero character who discovers she is a chosen one figure? Then why is Clary a complete wimp in the movie? Excepting the final battle, she spends every single fight screaming, hiding under/behind tables and other pieces of furniture, or running away, and even then she has three moments of feistiness and then returns to her previous position of patheticness. Am I the only one who doesn’t want to watch a movie about a heroine who has to be rescued EVERY. SINGLE. TIME?

3. The music sucks. This seems trivial but it’s not. Part of it is dubstep playing during fight sequences and the rest sounds like fairy princess music playing in the background.

4. Major plot elements are revealed. Okay so you have a huge plot twist that will last over three books. What do you do? Do you a) play it out like it is in the book or do you b) reveal it even before it happens, destroying all chances to spread it out over two more movies? Guess which one the director chose?

5. Everyone has British accents. There are a couple of people for whom it makes sense, but seriously, the movie is set in New York and you only have three characters with American accents. Are you seeing the problem here?

6. I like to call this last one "The Ridiculousness Effect". These are the things that just make the movie look really stupid. Primarily a) Valentine who has now been dubbed (by me) "The Magical Evil Wannabe-Goth Padawan,"* and b)the magical flowers* (the medianox plant). Yes, these are flowers that bloom at midnight. That in itself is perfectly fine, except in the movie they look like something out of a Barbie fairy adventure. These things completely undermine the credibility of the movie even further, and make it look ridiculous.

I have decided that The City of Bones is still an amazing book, and The Mortal Instruments: The City of Bones is just an awful movie. They both just happen to share a title, characters, and some basic plot elements. That is all.

But Teya, how do you really feel about the movie?
Haha NO

~~~~

*I tried really hard to find picture, but to no avail. Read the book. Love it. Watch the movie and mock it alongside me.


Feisty chick-o-meter: 3.5/10
Age rating: 13+
Rating: 4/10
Number of explosions: Shoot, I forgot to count. More than one and less than five. Pick a number.

Your persistence will be greatly rewarded

Blood Red Road

By Moira Young

Let’s hear it for even more dystopia!

Eighteen year-old Saba has spent her whole life in the static, uneventful wasteland of Silverlake. Far away from anyone, she has grown up with only her father, twin brother Lugh (pronounced Lu), and later her younger sister Emmi for company. Everything changes, however, when the relative calm of Silverlake is broken and mysterious riders kidnap Lugh. Saba, who had, up until then, lived her life in her brother’s shadow, must take control and track down Lugh, with 9 year-old Emmi in tow. Saba travels across the land and despite discovering her skill as an unbeatable fighter, she must fall in with the rebel gang The Free Hawks, and a mysterious stranger named Jack, to reach her brother by midsummer.

When I originally found Blood Red Road, my thoughts were something along the lines of Heck yes, ruthless fighters, rebel gangs, dystopia, this is going to be AWESOME! Then I started reading. I’m always wary when language is changed in books (been becomes bin, cant becomes caint, your, yer…) even if it does create a better sense of place or character, nevertheless, I stuck with it. I started to have doubts when Saba’s relationship with Emmi becomes apparent - Saba blames her for their mother’s death – I put Blood Red Road down when Saba started being nasty to Emmi. I picked it back up and decided to stick with because I really wanted to like it. As I got further into the book, Saba’s character arc became more apparent, her relationship with her sister began to change, and it became an amazing book.

The whole book is narrated from Saba’s perspective, and she can be a harsh judge, of everyone, including herself. She doesn’t sugar-coat anything, and while she can come across as quite unforgiving, her softer side gets revealed. Sometimes, you do want you grab her by the shoulders, shake her and yell “EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS!” but you get past that. Also, her blunt opinions make a nice change from the standard “look at me skipping as I go off on an adventure!" attitudes of some heroines. Saba is a strong, feisty take-no-prisoners heroine, and she doesn’t need to be rescued. Even when she’s locked in a cage.

So if you read Blood Red Road, stick with it, and let the true awesomeness be revealed…

Feisty chick-o-metre: 10/10
Age Rating: 14+
Rating: 8/10
Book or audiobook: Audiobook
Stand alone or series: Series(!) in 5 days... not that I'm counting...
Last word:  do.
Length: 466 pages

The Feisty Chick-O-Meter and the Bechdel Test

"Dear Teya, why do you have the Feisty Chick-O-Meter on your blog?" Asked no one ever.

Well, Fictitious Reader, I'm glad you asked. The Feisty Chick-O-Meter is actually based off of The Bechdel Test. What is The Bechdel Test you ask?

The Bechdel Test originally came from Allison Bechdel’s comic Dykes to Look Out For, from the strip, The Rule. The Test assesses a movie or book to determine if women are accurately and realistically portrayed, and to establish how large a presence they have in that film or book. To pass The Test, a book or movie has to meet three simple criteria:

1. The book or movie has to have at least two female characters with names,
2. These women have to have a conversation with each other, and
3. They have to talk to each other about something other than men.

For such simple requirements, you’d be amazed at how many books and movies fail miserably. Maze Runner, fails spectacularly on every front, and The Lord of the Rings trilogy fails disappointingly because while there are four female characters, over the course of the entire series, none of them ever speak to each other. I will cut LotR some slack because Eowyn is so awesome and I love the series, but seriously nine make up the Fellowship of the ring, and not a single one is a woman? Surprisingly, Furious Six passes with flying colours.

Now, just because a movie or book doesn't pass the Bechdel test, that doesn't mean you should write it off immediately. There are a lot of good films out there with one or no female characters, and strong female characters (sometimes leads) whose movies fail The Test. Also, unlike in the comic above, don't consider The Test to be a rule that you're not allowed to see anything that fails The Test; just keep it in the back of your mind each time you go to the movies or open a book and decide whether women are fairly and equally represented. (SMURFS I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU).

But back to the Feisty Chick-O-Meter. I wanted to come up with my own test to see how strong the female characters are in the books and movies I review. My criteria aren't as structured, but it takes into account:

• How many female characters there are
• How much time said female characters spend crying, or unconscious
• Whether they are capable of and do rescue themselves
• If they have their own back-story and heroes journey, or if they are there purely to advance the male protagonist's story arc

(Bonus points if they are armed with weapons and/or witty comebacks.)

While The Feisty Chick-O-Meter is not an imitation or replica of the Bechdel test, it's pretty safe to say that if a book of movie fails the Bechdel test, it's not going to get a particularly high score on the Feisty Chick-O-Meter

This is a really good video on The Bechdel Test by one of my favourite YouTube channels, Feminist Frequency.

Because dragons. That's why.

Seraphina

By Rachel Hartman


If you know anything about me, you’ll know that I love dragons. And feisty heroines.  And maths. And unicorns that impale people, but that’s beside the point. Seraphina is an awesome combination of all those things - except for the homicidal Unicorn.

In the kingdom of Goredd, there has been peace between humans and dragons for nearly forty years, grudging or otherwise, with dragons being able to transform themselves into human forms, or saarantras, but with the anniversary of the peace treaty drawing closer, tensions are high. The musically gifted Seraphina Dombegh, joins the royal court at the time of a murder, and is drawn into the investigation. But when a plot to destroy the peace is uncovered, Seraphina must struggle to thwart the plan, all the while trying to keep her own secret hidden, that, if exposed, risks imprisonment, disgust, and possibly even death.

I was introduced to Seraphina with the following words: “It’s about mathematical dragons.” And despite the fact that I love both of those things, it didn’t sound that amazing. Seraphina? I’m sorry I ever doubted you. Actually, the maths isn’t as big of a plot element as I thought it would be.

Seraphina is well written, witty and funny, and frankly, I want to be Seraphina’s friend (the person, not the book.) Even though I love a heroine who can beat her enemies in any form of combat, it’s really cool to have a character who defeats anyone who stands in her way with her intellect, and strategy alone. I think the story moves a little slowly, but the time that it takes is not wasted; it serves to build up the imagery and sense of place even more.

Rachel Hartman, I’m counting on you to write a sequel.

Feisty chick-o-meter:10/10
Age Rating: 13+
Rating: 9/10
Book or audiobook: Book
Stand alone or series: Stand alone... For now (I hope)
Last word: Stand
Length: 482 pages

Got 20 IQ points to spare?

Doesn't it look amazing?

Pacific Rim

Starring Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba and Riko Kikuchi

Ta-da! Eddies Sofa is now officially off hiatus. And what better way to celebrate than with aliens fighting giant robots?

It’s worse than it sounds.

I’m pretty sure this is how the director and producer came up with the idea:


Dude! Let’s make a movie about futuristic aliens invading earth through a portal in the ocean floor!

Yeah! That sounds awesome! –Wait. We need something to fight them.

Uhhh… how about giant robots?

Yeah! What should we call them?

Um… *Looks down at beer can* Jaegers!

Sweet! Now do you think we should come up with a reason why the aliens are invading earth?

Uhhhh… NAH!

Yeah and we need to have people from different countries, because we want it to be a well-rounded, ethnically diverse movie.

Of course! How about China, Australia and SOVIET RUSSIA!

Yeah, but we need to make sure the Australians aren’t played by actual Australian actors, because that would be logical, or something.

Yeah. Do you reckon the others need to talk?

Nah, they're just going to die anyway.

So… How are we going to resolve the portal?

Didn’t they do that thing in the Avengers where they chuck a bomb through the portal? Let’s do that, but in the ocean!

Do you think people will notice?

No, they’ll be too busy looking at all the crap blowing up to notice.

Nice. But we have to make sure everything blows up, otherwise it’s not a good movie.

Of course! Wait- do we have any chicks in this movie?

Nah. Not important.

Don’t you think someone might get mad if they noticed there were no women?

Alright fine let’s put in one girl.

Where’s she from?

I dunno, somewhere in Asia.

SWEET!

YEAH!

And thus, Pacific Rim was made. This movie follows my Three-men-and-a-crate-of-beer theory.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love action movies; I’d take explosions over a Romantic comedy any day, but Pacific Rim is just so absurdly bad, that it’s really funny. Did I at multiple times want to yell “’MURICA!” at the top of my lungs? Yes. Did I? Yes.  By the end of the movie, I felt like my IQ had dropped 20 points.

The only good actors in the film are Mana Ashida who plays Token Girl in a flash back, and the Australians dog. Frankly there really isn’t that much else to say

Are the action scenes good? Yes.
Is the scripting good? No.
Will this movie make you feel smarter? No


Feisty chick-o-meter: 2/10
Age rating: 14+
Rating: 4/10
Number of explosions: I don't know, but a lot.

Sweet! Blue hair!

Daughter of Smoke and Bone

By Laini Taylor

Lets play a game; it's called "Guess How Much Teya Liked This Book." I'll give you a hint: Mortal Instruments and Infernal Devices much.

Seventeen year-old art student Karou is a mystery to everyone around her; only telling truths about herself that she knows no-one will believe. But they're true. All of them. Yes, the half-bestial creatures in her sketchbook are real, and yes her hair really does grow out of her head that colour. What with her mysterious scars, her collection of over twenty languages, and her popping off on a regular basis to perform "errands," it's no wonder everyone always asks her Who are you? And it's a question she asks herself every day. But when a series of scorched hand prints appear on doors all over the world and a fiery stranger comes into her life, Karou discovers secrets about herself that she didn't necessarily want to know.

I had already read two of Laini Taylor's books; Blackbringer and Silksinger, so I had a pretty good idea that I was going to enjoy Daughter of Smoke and Bone. What I failed to realize was just how much I would love it. (I mean seriously, being ranked next to The Mortal Instruments is pretty impressive) The imagery used is beautiful, and so vivid, that you can imagine yourself wandering through the markets of Marrakesh, or walking down the cold streets of Prague.

“The streets of Prague were a fantasia scarcely touched by the twenty-first century—or the twentieth or nineteenth, for that matter. It was a city of alchemists and dreamers, its medieval cobbles once trod by golems, mystics, invading armies. Tall houses glowed goldenrod and carmine and eggshell blue, embellished with Rococo plasterwork and capped in roofs of uniform red. Baroque cupolas were the soft green of antique copper, and Gothic steeples stood ready to impale fallen angels. The wind carried the memory of magic, revolution, violins, and the cobbled lanes meandered like creeks. Thugs wore Motzart wigs and pushed chamber music on street corners, and marionettes hung in windows, making the whole city seem like a theater with unseen puppeteers crouched behind velvet.” 

See what I mean?

The plot details come at the perfect timing so that they're spread out enough to keep you hooked, and trying to guess what's happening, but close enough together, that you don't get bored, and move on. You can see the careful structuring that went into this book to keep it mysterious and suspenseful.

Karou is a very well developed character. More of her personality and character, along with her history is discovered as the story progresses.

“She moved like a poem and smiled like a sphinx.” 

Also, she has blue hair, and that's just really cool. She has a very distinctive voice, and a wry sort of humor. In fact, all the characters have unique voices, and I don't mean that just because the audiobook narrator reads each character in a different voice.

While this does not pertain to the story per se, I really like the cover. Despite the saying, when I buy books, covers factor into the decision. Obviously I wouldn't condemn a book purely because of it's cover, but quite often what jumps out at me is a cool cover. I haven't read it yet, but I feel compelled to include the cover of the sequel, Days of Blood and Starlight as well. There's also a post over on Laini Taylor's blog about the cover of the German edition, and the secret it holds within...


Feisty chick-o-meter: 10/10
Age rating: 16+
Rating: 10/10
Book or audiobook: Audiobook
Stand alone or series: Series
Last word: End
Length: 432 pages

Yeah... Loving this book was kind of inevitable

Clockwork Angel, The Infernal Devices: Book One
By Cassandra Clare

So, this is the second Cassandra Clare book in one month-but it’s a different series!

Clockwork Angel is set in the same world as The Mortal Instruments series, but in the 1800s. It centres around sixteen year-old Tessa Gray, who, after her aunt’s death, travels to London to live with her brother. When she arrives, she is captured and imprisoned by two warlocks, the Dark Sisters, who force her to use her power of shape changing – a power she did not realize she possessed – and prepare her for a marriage to the elusive character known only as The Magister. Tessa, now knowing what she is – a warlock – finds herself thrown together with a group of shadow hunters who are trying to stop the Magister from taking over the city, and Tessa has to choose between finding her brother and saving London.

I came to The Infernal Devices Series from the Mortal Instruments Series with a number of expectations about what this new series would be like. Clockwork Angel exceeded them all. It’s just as funny as the first series, but I think this book really ramps it up a notch in terms of the writing and the plot; there are a lot of twists that you don’t expect.

The characters are very different from the first series. It would have been very easy to have a second series with the same type of characters, and the same character dynamics, but all the relationships are very different.

Of course, because this series is set almost 150 years earlier there’s only one character that carries over; the immortal, and flamboyant warlock Magnus Bane, however there are characters who are ancestors of the characters in the Mortal Instruments. Names like Lightwood, Wayland, Herrondale, and Penhollow carry over, even if the individual characters do not.

Tessa is a very interesting character; most heroines from books set in this period, and from this genre, are girls who refuse to behave as society expects of them, and instead wear pants and run off and become highway men, or pirates… Tessa, on the other hand, while she is not a frivolous character,  has the opinion that women should not wear pants or fight. Of course this doesn’t mean she’s not a strong-willed, feisty character. Over the course of the story, the feisty side in her comes out. She’s a very smart well-read character, and is one of the few characters in the story who can “manage” one of the more arrogant shadow hunters - Will – with the witty come backs she always seems to have on hand.

“Dear God,” said Will, looking from Charlotte to Nate and back again. “Is there anything that makes women sillier than the sight of a wounded young man?”
Tessa slitted her eyes at him. “You might want to clean the rest of the blood of your face before you continue arguing in that vein.”
Will threw his arms up in the air and stalked off.Charlotte looked at Tessa, a half smile curving the side of her mouth. “I must say, I rather like the way you manage Will.”
Tessa shook her head. “No one manages Will.” 

If anything, Tessa is proof that you don’t have to hate dresses and femininity to be hard-core.

“If you have a soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. Whatever the color, the shape, the design of the shade that conceals it, the flame inside the lamp remains the same. You are that flame.” 

Feisty chick-o-meter: 10/10
Age rating: 15+
Rating: 10/10
Book or audiobook: Book
Stand alone or series: Series
Last word: Is

How many explosions can you fit into one movie?

Iron Man 3
Starring Robert Downey Jr, Gwyneth Paltrow and Don Cheadle

Much excitement was involved in the anticipation of Iron Man 3. I was not disappointed. Iron Man 3 is pretty much beginning-to-end awesomeness.

Yo, listen up, here’s the story, about a little guy that lives in a blue world, and all day, and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside*… But I digress.

Iron Man 3 is set after The Avengers, and Tony Stark is building new suits, and refusing to acknowledge just how messed up he is. But when an international terrorist called the Mandarin goes after everyone Stark cares about, not to mention the President of the United States, he has to suit up and blow up lots of things, including an entire oil tanker. Witty dialogue ensues, and oh, did I mention? More explosions. These explosions are not the lame, hokey kind of explosions, though;  they're the kind that makes everyone in the theatre stand up and yell “AWESOME!” or at least they would if everyone lived inside my head.

One of the reasons that I like the Iron Man movies, and The Avengers as well, is that they're about smart people, who just are, without any justification. Sure Tony Stark is a little arrogant, but I like that he can be a genius, and invent all this ground-breaking technology, and be this super cool action hero at the same time. Not many movies now days show amazing, never before seen technology, but Iron Man 3 has some pretty cool gadgets. Also, Stark’s just really funny. Ben Kingsley plays The Mandarin and is a really funny, twitchy character, actually, a lot like an older, slightly less insane Captain Jack Sparrow, without dreadlocks.

I think one of the best parts for me, was that Pepper Potts started defending herself. Gone are the days of Pepper needing to be rescued at every plot development, this time, she actually got to fight and do the saving for once.

Also, the soundtrack is really good, and full of songs to walk in slow motion to, or to blow stuff up to…

I really don’t have any complaints about Iron Man 3. I enjoyed every bit of it. But remember, this is a Marvel movie, so you have to wait until the end of the credits to leave


*Blue (Da be dee) by Italian band, Eiffel 65 is played in the beginning of the movie. (Procede with caution, though, while the song is cool, the music video is a little strange)

Feisty chick-o-meter: 9/10
Age rating: 12+
Rating: 10/10
Number of explosions: I lost count after 37

I want my life back

The Princess Diaries (Why did I watch this?)

Starring Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews.

For the first movie review ever on this blog, I commence with a movie I really didn’t like (okay, maybe that’s a bit too nice). In my last blog I promised to find a book I didn’t like to review but apparently I have a hard time finding books I don’t like.

Okay so here's the story: fifteen, year-old Social Outcast is an invisible sophomore, with really psycho hair, until her grandmother comes to town and informs her that she’s the crown princess of some imaginary land. Princess classes ensue, with a music sequence where she’s made pretty. But oh no, will she be ready in time for the royal ball? And will she choose to accept her role, or abdicate the throne?

All this I predicted within the first five minutes of the movie, and then that’s it in terms of plot development. No mystery, no plot twist, no ticking time bomb (unless you count being pretty in time for the ball), nothing remotely unpredictable happened in this movie.

I suffered through The Princess Diaries. At the point where they plucked her eyebrows and straightened her hair I shouted “They took her soul!” and about ten minutes after that I started yelling “I WANT MY LIFE BACK,” and kept yelling it throughout the rest of the movie.  I’m sorry, but hasn’t this storyline been rehashed a thousand times, with only minor tweaking?

The one mildly redeeming part of the movie is that Mia (remember, the social outcast?) makes faces during princess classes, and that she stands up to a bully. Once. Yes, this genre of movie does appeal to some people, but can’t we at least have some level variety between plots?

The Princess Diaries is based on a book which is, from what I understand, pretty much the same story line, but over the course of about six books. There is no way I will ever read any of them unless I’m stranded on a desert island and they’re the only thing that will keep me coherent. And maybe not even then.

Feisty chick-o-meter: 5/10

Age rating: 10+

Rating: 2/10

I apologise profusely for loving this book.

City of Bones

By Cassandra Clare

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of “Teya Reviews Another Book She Loves.” I’m sorry, I can’t help it; I just don’t read that many books that I hate.

Fifteen year-old Clary Fray thinks she’s normal until she goes out clubbing and sees three teenagers with weird tattoos murder a boy who then proceeds to vanish into thin air. Oh yeah, and no one else saw anything.  After that, things start to get weird. I don’t know, I guess it’s pretty hard to carry on with your life after something like that. Just to add on to the crazy, Clary’s mother is kidnapped, and her house trashed, and she's swept up into a world of demons, monsters, and shadow hunters. Teamed up with three hard-core and slightly crazy shadow hunters, Clary has to beat the evil villain to the ultimate weapon, rescue her mother, and, you know, save the world

“I don't want tea," said Clary, with muffled force. "I want to find my mother. And then I want to find out who took her in the first place, and I want to kill them."
"Unfortunately," said Hodge, "we're all out of bitter revenge at the moment, so it's either tea or nothing.” 

Hmmm… How do I describe it without using the word “awesome?”

City of Bones is really well written, everything is described in incredible detail, and you can imagine what everything and everyone looks like. The fight scenes are all really well described, and man, they have some of the coolest weapons. Also, the characters are really well rounded and believable, and everything they do is consistent to their character, even if it’s a little odd, especially the supporting characters. Clary’s a really good, feisty heroine, and has the mystical and magical power of sarcasm! Although Clary does say that “Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.”

Despite what some of the reviews say, the book really does translate well into audiobooks. While the first and the second books have different respective narrators, (yes, I’ve already started the sequel) both are very good and don’t make everyone sound like freaks.

So there you go, not a single “awesome” to be seen. Well except in that one sentence, but that doesn’t really count. I apologise for reviewing another book that I loved beyond measure and promise to review a book next week that I liked at least a little bit less than this one.

Feisty chick-o-meter: 10/10
Age Rating: 15+
Rating: 10/10
Book or audiobook: Audiobook
Stand alone or series: Series
Last word: All

Dan dan DAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Angels And Demons

By Dan Brown

Angels and Demons is about Robert Langdon, a professor of religious symbology, who gets contacted by a major scientific research organization, after one of their top scientists is brutally murdered, and his revolutionary invention – literally a ticking time bomb – is stolen. Teamed up with Vittoria Vetra, a young physicist, Robert is sent on a wild chase across Rome and the Vatican City, along the Path of Illumination, to try and stop a plot to blow up the Vatican. And he has five hours to do it.

Sounds awesome, right?  While Angels and Demons isn’t a deep-and-meaningful-makes-you-think-about-the-meaning-of-life kind of book, it’s an excellent thriller (cue song). It’s written so that the chapters alternate points of view, and it makes you so mad at Dan Brown; you know you’re being manipulated, but you just have to read ONE MORE CHAPTER.

Also, I don’t think I’ve ever read a book so exhaustively researched. Every sculpture, painting and church – and there are a lot – is described in meticulous detail. So meticulous that it makes you desperately want to go to Rome.

Langdon and Vittoria are a lot more interesting in the book than the movie. Now I’m not going to go on about how they look all wrong in the movie, but they’re just more interesting in the book. Vittoria is a much stronger and feistier character, and is ultimately the one who beats the villain, whereas in the movie she’s just there to provide the scientific background. She’s a much cooler heroine too. Langdon is also way more interesting in the book, and you actually care about him as a character.

One other thing: ambigrams.   Sure, they have the same ones in the movie, but man is it awesome to be able look at them on the page. I admit I may have spent hours, just turning the page around, and around, and around, and around…

So if you’re a fan of mysteries, science and art, then this is the book for you!

Feisty chick-o-meter: 8/10
Age Rating: 15+
Rating: 9/10
Stand alone or series: Series... ish
Book or audiobook: Book
Last word: You

Oh look! More dystopian novels!

Divergent and Insurgent
By Veronica Roth

Ta da! Even more dystopian YA novels! All right, fine, maybe I’m a bit of a dystopia fan…

Divergent is set in dystopian (surprise!) Chicago, where everything is divided into five factions:  Candor, the honest, Abnegation, the selfless, Erudite, the intelligent, Dauntless, the brave, and Amity, the peaceful. Each year, every sixteen year-old has to choose which faction they will spend the rest of their lives in. Divergent centres on Beatrice Prior who is – you guessed it – sixteen, and it’s decision making time – she has to choose between staying with her family or actually doing what she wants to do. But that’s just the beginning! She then has to fight her way through the super-competitive initiation process (with a name change to Tris in between) to actually get into the faction and get the “AW YEAH I’M IN A FACTION” badge. Yes I made that last part up.

Insurgent, to sum it up in a few sentences:  Tries to stop revolution. Even more fight sequences. Oh yeah, she has a boyfriend now.

I really enjoyed Divergent.  Tris was a strong, witty realistic character, and was the sort of character that made you wish you could play her in a movie. It’s also well written and man, the fight scenes are awesome. And seriously, who doesn’t want to be friends with someone who responds like this:

“It must be because you're so approachable", I say flatly. "You know, like a bed of nails."

And then came the sequel.

Insurgent is still just as well written and maybe funnier than Divergent, this pretty much sets up the tone of the humour:

“Got that gun?” Peter says to Tobias.
 “No,” says Tobias, “I figured I would shoot the bullets out of my nostrils, so I left it upstairs.”  

And Insurgent has even more fight scenes, but I have one problem: Tris.

Okay, so  that’s not entirely true, Tris herself is fine, it’s Tris in relation to her boyfriend, who henceforth shall be called Fred so as not to reveal any semi predictable spoilers. Where was I? Oh, right, Tris begins to go off the rails (which in itself is perfectly respectable, every dystopian hero has the right to spiral), but all of a sudden, Fred the boyfriend starts defining their relationship, and telling her he’ll only be her boyfriend when she’s a specific way, and now you have this feisty strong character, who’s all wimpy and pathetic around her boyfriend. You want to grab her by the shoulders and yell “YOU ARE A STRONG CHARACTER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”  But then you feel bad because the rest of the book is so good and then you get a headache.

Also, the books are in audiobook form, and are narrated by Emma Galvin, who narrated one of my other favourite books and has a really good voice for the character.

I like the book, and I don’t like the book. Gah! I need a panadol.

Feisty chick-o-meter: 9/10 7/10

Age Rating: 16+

Rating: 8/10

Stand alone or series: Series

Book or audiobook: Audiobook

And the "Favourite Books" list gets longer...

The Fault in Our Stars

By John Green

The Fault in Our Stars is about sixteen year-old Hazel, who has thyroid cancer. Now I’m going to stop right there to say that this isn’t a cancer book. Yes, it’s about a girl with cancer, in fact a bunch of people have cancer, but her having cancer doesn’t define the book. Hazel lives her life in a generally dull manner, going to Cancer Kid Support Group, attending a couple of college courses, reading the same book, over and over, and always being defined as the girl with cancer. Then she meets Augustus Waters, a charming, seventeen year-old cancer survivor, who changes Hazel’s perception of herself, helping her not to make her cancer story her story.

I came to this, ready to be depressed. John Green is an amazing writer and I really enjoyed his book An Abundance of Katherines, but seriously, it’s about a girl with cancer. Saying that there’s no chance a book about cancer will be depressing is like saying “Hey, if I stick my face right next to this lion there is noooooo way I’m gonna get mauled.” But I digress. Basically, I was reluctant, but John Green is awesome and I can’t say no to buying books.

As it turned out my worrying was for naught. The Fault in Our Stars manages to keep the tone light without completely trivialising the basic premise. I had no qualms, however, about what the actual writing would be like. An Abundance of Katherines was extremely well written and this one is no different.  It uses very accessible language, and the teenagers actually sound like teenagers. It really felt like the characters were real, and made me wish that they actually were.

Hazel is a very interesting character. She’s strong willed, but also a bit depressed, however over the course of the story she really opens up and evolves as a character. (I would say ‘blossoms’, but I’m not really into flower similes.) She also deals with having cancer in a very light but not flippant manner. This is probably what keeps the book from being depressing. This is pretty much embodied in this line:

“I looked down my blouse at my chest. ‘Keep your s**t together” I whispered to my lungs.”

What’s really interesting is how Hazel’s and Augustus’s roles switch completely halfway through. No spoilers, though, I promise!

Now this is going to sound weird, but it’s one of those books that you finish reading and feel smarter. John Green doesn’t dumb down the language for his “young readers” The dialogue flows well and words like “Hamartia” fit in really naturally. There’s even a grumpy, old Dutch man who uses phrases like “our triumphantly digitized contemporaneity” for goodness sakes.

The Fault in Our Stars is definitely one of my favourite books, and I would have re-read it right after I finished it (yes I have done that before) but I have 200 books, at least 50 of which haven’t been read and I must read! If you need me, I’ll be the one with the books.

Feisty chick-o-meter: 9/10
Age rating:16+
Rating: 10/10
Stand alone or series: Stand alone
Book or audiobook: Book
Last word: Do

Honestly, those fairies...

How to Ditch Your Fairy

By Justine Larbalestier (Lah-bah-less-tee-ay)

Ever felt like the whole world hated you and your fairy was trying to kill you? No? Yeah, me neither…

How to Ditch Your Fairy is set in New Avalon, a fictional land that is a cross between Australia and the US. It’s about fourteen year old Charlotte or Charlie to anyone other than her mother, who goes to a hardcore strict sports school. At one point Charlie says "I love that everyone's into sports, that no one even talks about loving it 'cause it's too obvious. It's the air we breathe."

In this alternate universe, everyone – or almost everyone – has a fairy, a sort of invisible luck charm such as a shopping fairy (all clothes fit perfectly and a half off), or a clean fairy (even if you never shower you still smell clean), or an always-know-what-your-kids-are-up-to fairy (pretty self-explanatory), or, in Charlie’s case, a parking fairy. And she doesn’t even drive.

Tired of being taken advantage of for her parking spaces, Charlie teams up with Fiorenze, the most hated, and popular girl in school, who has an every-boy-will-like-you fairy, and they resort to some pretty extreme measures to get rid of their fairies.

While part of How to Ditch Your Fairy is Charlie trying to impress a boy, it’s not that trashy, unlike some books (yes TTYL, that means you). It’s well written and funny and apart from the whole boy chasing thing, Charlie’s a good strong character. Also the audiobook reader is well chosen and she’s Australian. (Yay Aussies!) So, all in all, not bad.

Oh and did I mention that the author’s Australian? (Yay aus-wait, already did that one)

Feisty chick-o-meter: 8/10

Age rating: 14+

Rating: 8/10

Stand alone or series: Stand alone

Book or audiobook: Audiobook

Last word: Keeper

Why Censorship is Evil

Today I came across a list of banned books and was somewhat disappointed to find that I had only read 15 out of the 100+ books on the list. I’m going to try not to make this a post about why I think censorship is evil, but many of the books on these lists are banned or being challenged for the most trivial reasons. Parents have the right to decide what their children can and can’t read, but as in most cases, that depends on the child. Censorship means that one person or on group’s ideas are being forced on everyone.

The majority of the books on these lists deal with issues that some consider risqué or inappropriate, but these issues aren’t being talked about enough, and in some cases these books provide valuable lessons that kids wouldn’t be able to get if their families shy away from such topics.

Here are some of the books that I’ve read from these lists, and why I don’t think think they deserve to be banned.

Anne Frank: A diary of a young girl

Anne Frank is banned in some places because it's - wait for it - too depressing.

For one thing, you cannot fault it as a book for being depressing when it was never intended to be published. It’s one girl's diary, and for another, Anne Frank: A diary of a young girl provides a real life account of what happened during the Holocaust. It’s not historical fiction, and it’s not some boring textbook, it’s a first-hand narration of what went on during that time. Yes, the subject matter is depressing, but that's no grounds to ban a book.

Feisty chick-o-meter: 8/10
Age rating: 12+
Rating: 8/10

Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging.
By Louise Rennison

This is about Georgia something-or-other who deals with life’s more important issues, like is her nose getting bigger? And how does she get this guy to date her? And is that hat really a good look for her?

 Honestly, if this book was banned from every library and store in the world, I really wouldn’t care, however, I don’t feel that there is anything that would constitute this book being banned, other than it being crap. She makes out with a couple guys, obsesses about her weight and chases some guys, and that’s about it. Trashy? Yes. Deserves to be banned? No, not really.


Feisty chick-o-meter: 3/10
Age rating: 15+
Rating: 3/10

TTYL

By Lauren Myracle

TTYL comes under the same category as the aforementioned trashy novel. It's got some stuff targeted at an older audience but really, just say it's for older teens, there's no need to ban it. As for subject matter, the amazon review says they talk about "clothes, the delicate high-school popularity ecosystem, boys, boys in French class, boys in Old Navy commercials, etc." Sounds profound, doesn't it? The entire book is in IM form and the story is told through IM conversations between the three main characters. This is a neat idea, and a cool way to tell a story, but maybe Lauren Myracle could have found a less inane topic.

Feisty chick-o-meter: 5/10
Age rating: 16+
Rating: 4/10

Stargirl

By Jerry Spinelli

This is probably one of the most beautiful books I've every read, and really deserves a whole post to itself. It's told from the perspective of 16 year-old Leo, but it's really about Stargirl who comes in to Mica Arizona and changes everyone's life. At one point Leo says "She was elusive. She was today. She was tomorrow. She was the faintest scent of a cactus flower, the flitting shadow of an elf owl." It's one of those books that means something different to you each time you read it.

So why was it challenged? Because it's about a girl who refuses to conform?

Feisty chick-o-meter: 10/10
Age rating: 13+
Rating: 10/10

Catherine, Called Birdy

By Karen Cushman

Catherine, Called Birdy is about the 14 year-old daughter of an English nobleman, who is trying to avoid getting married off at all costs. She manages to offend or disgust every suitor she is paraded in front of, and that's just how she likes it. This book is written as Catherine's diary, where she writes down her adventures, as a strong woman in a patriarchal society.

I see no reason why someone would want to ban it. Did that person have something against sending the message that it's okay  to stand up for what you want? I don't see why someone would ban a book about a strong, witty, teenager, who doesn't let people push her around.

Feisty chick-o-meter: 9/10
Age rating: 10+
Rating: 9/10

A Light in The Attic

By Shel Silverstein

I would just like to start of by saying how fabulous Shel Silverstein is. He writes very funny, clever and witty poems for all ages and I have loved his poems since I was about seven.

That said, his book A Light in the Attic of poems is banned in at least one area, purely because one poem has "A suggestive illustration that might encourage kids to break dishes so they won't have to dry them." I don't think I need to say anything more.

Feisty chick-o-meter: Uhhhhh... Kind of irrelevant
Age rating: 6+
Rating: 10/10

****

So instead of banning every book that touches something controversial or risqué, why not actually talk about these issues? Two awesome quotes from Judy Blume, an author who has had several books banned and speaks out against censorship are:

"Let children read whatever they want and then talk about it with them. If parents and kids can talk together, we won't have as much censorship because we won't have as much fear." 

and

"Censors don't want children exposed to ideas different from their own. If every individual with an agenda had his/her way, the shelves in the school library would be close to empty."

Here's a list of challenged and banned YA books (that you may want to read) and also a really good article on censorship by the aforementioned fabulous Judy Blume.

Living up to the Legend. (See what I did there?)

Prodigy
By Marie Lu
Last week I decided to check Amazon and see if Prodigy had come out yet. When I saw that it had been out for almost a month, lots of screaming with joy ensued. If you read my dystopian roundup post, you’ll know that saying I love Legend, the first book in the series, is an understatement. Suffice it to say, I didn’t really come to Prodigy with much trepidation.

Just after June and Day reach Las Vegas the Elector dies and his son, Anden, takes his place. They find the patriots, a resistance group, who promise them refuge, medical attention and help to find Day’s younger brother, Eden, but, in return, Day and June must help assassinate the new Elector. But as June gets to know him better, she realizes that Anden is not like his father, and Day realizes that something in the plan is not as it seems. Both June and Day have to make choices that will change the Republic forever.

I have now had my second book hangover this month. Marie Lu’s writing is amazing, especially the fight scenes, they’re so vivid that you can imagine yourself there. Although the two books are narrated by both June and Day, in Legend June was more of the main character, and now Day is. At the beginning, I was a bit worried that June was going to become a soppier character, now that she’s in a relationship, which is the case with many sequels, however, June stays a strong character, and, despite getting sick halfway through the book and needing to be looked after, she still manages to severely injure a bunch of people.  “Idiotic reply, June. Why don't you punch him in the face while you're at it? I turn even more flustered when I remember that I have actually pistol-whipped him in the face before. Romantic” 

 Day evolves very well and is believable and all the decisions he makes are logical, unlike some books. (Hunger Games I’m looking at you.) He’s a very funny, sarcastic character and overall just a nice person.  “I make sure to keep a good distance between us, just in case she decides to get happy with a knife or something.”

Prodigy ends in a way that is... how shall I put it...? DRIVING ME CRAZY BECAUSE I HAVE TO WAIT A YEAR FOR THE NEXT ONE! My first thought when I finished it was "man she better write another book"

Just like with Legend,I will listen to Prodigy over, and over, and over, and over, and ov- well, you get the gist.

Feisty chick-o-meter: 10/10
Age rating: 14+
Rating: 10/10
Stand alone or series: Trilogy, thank goodness
Book or audiobook: Audiobook. Once again, the audiobook version is awesome!
Last word: Light

Yay! Archaeology!

The Tomb of Zeus

By Barbara Cleverly

Okay, so technically this book isn’t a YA novel, but close enough. The Tomb of Zeus caught my eye because:

a) It’s a murder mystery,
b) It’s about a female archaeologist in the 1920s, and
c) It’s set in Greece (okay, Crete) with Greek mythology.
I’m sorry, but how could I pass that up?

In The Tomb of Zeus Laetitia Talbot goes to stay with an archaeologist and his family and quickly becomes embroiled in the family’s drama. Laetitia befriends the archaeologist’s young wife, Phoebe, and his son George but when Phoebe is found, hanged, in her bedroom, and George drives his car off a cliff, Laetitia takes it upon herself to find the murderer and bring him or her to justice. You have to imagine her with a hardcore super-sleuth voice when she says "A coward and an adulterer. Yes but are you a murderer?"  And to add on that, Laetitia is working at a dig site that could reveal one of the island’s darkest secrets.

It turns out The Tomb of Zeus is actually the first book in the trilogy, I was under the impression that it was the third. Around the middle, the story gets a bit harder to understand, which I attributed to the book not being the first in the series, but I guess I was wrong.

The Tomb of Zeus is written well, and Laetitia (or Letty as she’s called) is a strong and feisty character, armed with plenty of witty retorts to sexist comments. The fact that it’s set in the 20s doesn’t really impact the story; it seems to be there purely for the conceptions of what a woman’s role should be during that time period and to provide Letty with another obstacle she has to deal with. Letty is a very well-drawn character and her personality and her character is revealed throughout the course of the book. I reckon the one problem with the writing was that Barbara Cleverly sometimes went off on tangents, slowing the story down, but otherwise The Tomb of Zeus is really good.

"If ever a man had the ability to stir up storm clouds its [SPOILERSPOILERSPOLER]" Sorry, I guess you'll just have to read it now.

Feisty chick-o-meter: 9/10

Age rating: 15+

Rating: 8.5/10

Stand alone or series: Series

Book or audiobook: Book

Last word: Hooves

Dolphins. Aw Yeah.

A Ring of Endless Light

By Madeline L'Engle

It’s been a while since I read a book that left me with a book hangover. I’ve read plenty of really good books lately but A Ring of Endless Light was different. Turns out, it’s actually the fourth book in a series of five, The Austin Family Chronicles, although it could be a stand-alone book.

In A Ring of Endless Light, almost sixteen year old Vicky moves, with her family, to The Island, for the summer to spend what might be his last summer with her grandfather. During this time she finds herself dealing with unimaginable loss and sadness, as well as incredible beauty. Vicky says at one point “I’m practically never entirely sure about anything.”

While she’s on the island Vicky gets tangled up with three boys: The Old Friend, The Dangerous One (aka The Jerk) and The One You Know She’ll Choose Because No-one Ever Chooses the Other Two. Now I’m not going to go into detail on the love triangle or square thingy, because that makes it sound like any other fluffy teen romance novel and it isn’t. Not by far. And, added to all this there are dolphins. In fact, the most beautiful parts in this book are definitely when Vicky is in the water with the dolphins.

I came to A Ring of Endless Light not knowing what to expect. To be honest, the blurb made it sound a bit fluffy but a friend highly recommended it.  It’s beautifully written, and Vicky is a nice, believable character. Reading it made me wish I could crawl inside the book and live Vicky’s life (minus the whole death and sadness part). The one criticism I have is that I wanted to smack Vicky when she stuck around with the aforementioned Jerk, but eventually she tells him to take a hike and it’s all good.

I highly recommend A Ring of Endless Light and will definitely reread it multiple times. Now I just have to read the other four books…

Feisty chick-o-meter: 10/10
Age rating: 12 +
Rating: 10/10
Stand alone or series: Series
Book or audiobook: Book
Last word: Close

Does my head look big in this?

Does My Head Look Big In This

By Randa Abdel-Fattah

I have just spent two days at a model United Nations, debating, among other things, women’s rights. And, while technically the topic was on violence against women, what came up a lot was women being forced to wear hijabs or burkas. What no one really thought about though, was the women who choose to wear the hijab purely of their own volition. This reminded me of one of my favourite books - Does My Head Look Big In This? - about a girl who chooses to wear the hijab full time, without pressure from anyone.

Amal, a sixteen year old Australian-Palestinian-Muslim, faces considerable opposition when she decides to wear the hijab full time; her school’s administration, her classmates, people on the streets, even her parents are dubious, but Amal is confident in her decision. This book is about Amal’s journey, navigating between open discrimination from random people, to her principal “suggesting” she not wear her hijab in school. She also has to deal with other people’s issues with her having friends of different religions. Does My Head Look Big In This? is narrated by Amal with sarcasm, humour, and wit.

Does My Head Look Big In This? is extremely well written and funny, Amal, along with every other character, is well rounded and believable. Amal, especially, is someone who you wish you had as a friend, she has an endless supply of witty retorts, and isn’t afraid to use them at any given time. One thing I especially like is that Amal never regrets her decision, and she never feels like her faith is confining her. She is perfectly comfortable with who she is, and isn’t afraid to speak out.

Does My Head Look Big In This? is a great story about self-confidence, discovering yourself, and above all friendship. If more people read books like this perhaps we'd have a more balanced debate. If only I could have quoted this book last week!

Feisty chick-o-meter: 10/10

Age Rating: 13+

Rating: 10/10

Stand alone or series: Stand alone

Book or audiobook: Book

Women at war

Girl In Blue

By Ann Rinaldi

Although the US only just allowed women to serve in combat, women have been fighting in wars for years in books. One of my favourites is Girl in Blue.

It’s 1861 and when sixteen year old Sarah Weedlock discovers her father’s plan to marry her off to the horrible widower next door, she runs away from home. Under the alias, Neddy Compton, she signs up for the Union Army. Starting as a (male) nurse, she works every day to keep her identity a secret and eventually is fighting on the frontlines. Then her identity is discovered and, making use of her disguise skills, she is sent to become a spy with Allan Pinkerton, and that is when the main action begins. Her first mission - to find the diary of a fierce confederate spy - proves to be harder than Sarah ever imagined.

I was really impressed with Girl in Blue. It was fast paced, full of action and mystery and overall, really well written, the fight scenes especially. Sarah is a very well-drawn character, and not once did she have to use her “feminine wiles” (THANK YOU). She is a strong character, and when her gender is discovered, she doesn’t become a girlish sop, as is the case with many books and films, she just carries on as before and doesn’t require anyone else’s help.

I really enjoyed  Girl in Blue, and it is most definitely on the rereads list.


Feisty chick-o-meter: 8/10
Age rating: 12+
Rating: 9/10
Stand alone or series: Stand alone
Book or audiobook: Book